Category: Mindset Shifts
Read Time: 4 minutes
Published: July 4, 2025
5 Thoughts to Replace When You Look in the Mirror
We all have them—those automatic thoughts that pop up the second we see our reflection. The cruel inner critic that notices every flaw, catalogues every imperfection, and reminds us of everything we're not.
But what if I told you that these thoughts aren't facts? They're just habits—mental patterns we've practiced so many times they feel automatic. And like any habit, they can be changed.
Here are five toxic thoughts to catch and replace with kinder, more realistic ones:
1. "I look terrible" → "I look human"
The problem with "terrible": This word is so loaded with judgment that it shuts down any possibility of neutral observation. When you tell yourself you look terrible, you're not seeing clearly—you're seeing through the lens of shame.
The power of "human": Humans have bad hair days. Humans get tired and it shows on their faces. Humans have skin that isn't perfect and bodies that change. When you remind yourself that you look human, you're allowing yourself to exist without the pressure of perfection.
Try this: When you catch yourself thinking "I look terrible," pause and say instead: "I look human today, and that's exactly what I am."
2. "Nothing fits right" → "My body has changed, and that's normal"
The problem with "nothing fits": This thought suggests that your body is wrong and your clothes are right, when the truth is that bodies change throughout our lives—and that's completely normal.
The power of acceptance: When you acknowledge that your body has changed without making it wrong, you open up space for practical solutions. Maybe you need different sizes, maybe you need different styles, maybe you need to shop for your current body instead of your past body.
Try this: Instead of fighting with clothes that don't fit, remind yourself: "My body has changed, and I can find clothes that work for who I am now."
3. "I hate my [body part]" → "This part of my body has a story"
The problem with hate: Hating parts of yourself creates an adversarial relationship with your own body. You end up at war with the vessel that carries you through life.
The power of story: Every part of your body has a story. Your stomach might be soft from carrying children. Your hands might show wear from all the work they've done. Your thighs might be strong from supporting you through life.
Try this: When you catch yourself hating a body part, ask: "What's the story here?" Your stretch marks tell the story of growth. Your scars tell the story of healing. Your wrinkles tell the story of expressions and time lived.
4. "I need to lose weight" → "I need to take care of myself"
The problem with "lose weight": This thought immediately puts you in a mindset of punishment and deprivation. It suggests that your worth is tied to a number on a scale.
The power of self-care: When you shift to thinking about taking care of yourself, you open up possibilities for nurturing rather than punishing your body. Self-care might look like nourishing food, joyful movement, adequate sleep, or stress management.
Try this: Instead of "I need to lose weight," ask yourself: "How can I take better care of myself today?" The answer might have nothing to do with food or exercise—it might be rest, boundaries, or simply speaking kindly to yourself.
5. "Everyone else looks better than me" → "Everyone else has their own struggles"
The problem with comparison: You're comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. You see others at their best while intimately knowing all your own insecurities.
The power of perspective: Everyone—and I mean everyone—has body insecurities. The woman you think looks perfect is probably looking in the mirror criticizing something about herself. We're all just humans trying to feel okay in our skin.
Try this: When you catch yourself comparing, remind yourself: "Everyone has their own relationship with their body, and I don't know their full story. I'll focus on my own journey."
The Practice
Changing thought patterns takes time and patience. You've been practicing the old thoughts for years—maybe decades. Be gentle with yourself as you learn new ones.
Start by simply noticing the automatic thoughts without trying to change them. Awareness is the first step. Then, when you're ready, experiment with the replacements. They might feel awkward or fake at first—that's normal. You're learning a new language of self-compassion.
Why This Matters
The way you talk to yourself in the mirror sets the tone for how you move through the world. When you practice kindness toward your reflection, you practice kindness toward yourself in all areas of life.
You model this relationship with bodies for the people around you—your children, your friends, your community. When you speak to yourself with compassion, you give others permission to do the same.
Most importantly, you free up mental and emotional energy that's currently being wasted on self-criticism. Imagine what you could do with all that energy if it wasn't tied up in hating your appearance.
Your Mirror, Your Choice
Every time you look in the mirror, you have a choice. You can practice the old patterns of criticism and shame, or you can practice new patterns of acceptance and kindness.
You don't have to love everything you see. You don't have to think you're perfect. You just have to stop being cruel to the person looking back at you.
She deserves better. You deserve better.
Start with one thought. Catch it, question it, and replace it with something kinder. Then do it again tomorrow.
Your future self will thank you for learning this new way of seeing.