Category: Real Stories
Read Time: 7 minutes
Published: May 26, 2024
"I Finally Feel Like Myself Again" - Jessica's Story
This is part of our Real Stories series, where we share authentic experiences from women on their journey toward body acceptance and confidence. Today, we hear from Jessica, a mother of three who found her way back to feeling at home in her body.
Jessica Williams sits across from me at a coffee shop, laughing as her youngest tugs on her sleeve. At 34, she radiates a quiet confidence that she tells me took years to cultivate.
"Three years ago, I couldn't look at myself in photos," she says, smoothing her daughter's hair. "Now I'm the one volunteering to take family pictures. It's a completely different life."
The Struggle
After having three children in five years, Jessica felt disconnected from her body in a way she'd never experienced. "I kept waiting to feel like myself again," she explains. "I thought once I lost the baby weight, once I got back to my pre-pregnancy size, I'd feel normal. But that day never came."
The numbers on the scale returned to where they'd been before children, but her body felt foreign. Her clothes fit differently. Her posture had changed from years of carrying babies and hunching over to nurse. She felt soft in places that used to feel firm, weak in places that used to feel strong.
"I was mourning a version of myself that I couldn't get back," Jessica reflects. "Every mirror was a reminder that I wasn't who I used to be."
The emotional weight was heavier than the physical changes. Jessica found herself avoiding social situations, declining invitations to beach trips and pool parties, always volunteering to be the photographer so she wouldn't have to be in pictures.
"My husband kept telling me I looked beautiful, but I thought he was just being nice. I couldn't see what he saw. All I could see was everything that was different, everything that was 'wrong.'"
The Turning Point
Jessica's perspective began to shift during a routine doctor's appointment when her physician mentioned her posture. "She asked if I was experiencing back pain, and when I said yes, she explained how my posture had changed after pregnancy and how that was affecting everything—my back, my confidence, even how my clothes fit."
For the first time, someone was talking about her body changes as normal adaptations rather than failures. "She didn't tell me to lose weight or do crunches. She talked about supporting my body through this transition."
That conversation led Jessica to seek out gentle solutions that focused on support rather than transformation. "I wasn't looking for a magic fix. I just wanted to feel more like myself in my own skin."
Finding Support
Jessica tried different approaches to reconnecting with her body. She started with small changes: supportive undergarments that helped her posture, gentle exercises that made her feel stronger rather than punished, and what she calls "armor for tough days."
"I found this waist trainer that wasn't about making me smaller—it was about making me feel supported. When I wore it, I stood taller, felt more put-together, and had this sense of being held together during a time when everything felt scattered."
But the physical support was only part of the equation. Jessica also started working on her internal dialogue.
"I had to grieve my old body before I could appreciate my new one. I gave myself permission to miss feeling different while still being grateful for what my body had done."
The Shift
The changes weren't dramatic or instant. Jessica describes it as a gradual shift from focusing on what her body looked like to appreciating what it could do.
"I started noticing that my arms were strong from carrying three kids. My legs could keep up with them at the playground. My body was functional and capable, even if it wasn't the same as before."
She began making choices based on how things made her feel rather than how they made her look. "I bought clothes that fit my actual body, not the body I thought I should have. I chose activities that energized me instead of depleted me."
The ripple effects surprised her. "When I stopped obsessing over my appearance, I had so much more mental energy for everything else. I was more present with my kids, more engaged in my marriage, more willing to try new things."
What Confidence Looks Like Now
Jessica's confidence doesn't look like the before-and-after photos that flood social media. It looks like showing up to her daughter's school events without checking her appearance in every reflective surface. It looks like booking the family vacation to the beach without panic about swimsuit season.
"I'm not saying I love everything about how I look," she clarifies. "I still have days when I feel uncomfortable or self-conscious. But those days don't control my life anymore."
She's learned to distinguish between having a feeling and being defined by it. "I can think 'I don't love how I look in this photo' without it spiraling into 'I'm disgusting and should hide from the world.'"
The Unexpected Gift
Perhaps the most significant change has been in how Jessica relates to her daughters. "I realized I was teaching them that a woman's worth is tied to her appearance by constantly criticizing myself. Now I model self-acceptance instead of self-punishment."
Her 8-year-old recently told her she was beautiful, and Jessica's response was different than it would have been three years ago. "Instead of deflecting or disagreeing, I said thank you. I want her to see that women can accept compliments, that we don't have to argue with people who think we're worthy of appreciation."
Advice for Others
Jessica's advice for women struggling with similar feelings is both practical and compassionate:
"Start with tiny changes that make you feel supported, not smaller. Give yourself permission to grieve the body you used to have—that's not vanity, it's human. Find people who understand that loving your body and struggling with your body can coexist."
She emphasizes that the journey isn't linear. "Some days are better than others, and that's normal. Progress isn't about never having insecure moments—it's about not letting those moments hijack your life."
Where She Is Now
Today, Jessica describes feeling "at home" in her body for the first time in years. "It's not the same home I lived in before having kids, but it's still mine, and I've learned to appreciate it."
She's planning a family trip to Hawaii next month—something she would have avoided three years ago. "I'm actually excited about it instead of dreading it. That feels like a miracle."
As we wrap up our conversation, Jessica's daughter spills juice on her shirt. Three years ago, this might have been a reason to hide or go home early. Today, Jessica laughs it off and continues our conversation.
"This is what confidence looks like for me now," she says, wiping up the spill. "Life happens, I deal with it, and I don't let it ruin my day. I'm too busy living to spend all my energy worrying about how I look while I'm doing it."